I’m 18, and yet I constantly feel as though I’m shouting at my parents “Be proud of me!!!” casually dropping things such as, getting an A or leaving an aced paper on the kitchen table, little things just to feel … Continue reading
I’ve been one to have many doubts about love.
For valid reasons, I’m a skeptic; three generations of divorce and deceit, a heart that has been taped back together too many times, and being used like a gas station bathroom in the middle of Nevada.
I was thinking about love today and what it really means to me.
I want a baby I can already feel the love that I have the ability to give a child. The warmth and pure beauty of holding something that my body had created in my arms.
Then it hit me.
A baby in which I had CREATED. Something/Someone that I brought to this World.
We, naturally as humans, Create. We write, think, perceive, dance, sing, speak.
We LOVE our CREATIONS.
So what if love is a creation?
A Creation that takes two individuals to create over a lifetime.
A creation that takes effort, A creation that needs revisions, A creation that requires certain skills, A creation that makes you happy, A creation that makes you sad, A creation that brings you comfort and a place in this vast universe.
A creation that requires two people; when it is put on the shoulders of one it falls apart. When the creation can’t seem to come together and it becomes time to let go and create something new, something better.
Love is a Creation.
Go Create, but remember not all creations are masterpieces. Make sure to know when yours isn’t right for you and when you need to put more effort into it.
A painting didn’t come together without a paintbrush, canvas, and the will for the painter to pick up the brush and begin the creation.
There’s only so much pain a heart can take
before the broken vessels sow themselves up with wrenching memories
and cold nights
the heart seems to lag contrary to a passionate roar.
there’s only so much pain a heat can take
before it closes its door to everything
holds on to the few perks of delight it has left
perfects that cold smile
devoid of all light
I want to be able to love my children
with every bit of my heart
I never want to be a broken mother
introducing a child into a broken world
I want them to feel love
I want them to feel
as many have lost the ability to.
thats why I want to be a young mother.