Welcome to Adulthood

“Miss?” My head snaps in the direction of the reception desk where a curly blonde woman in a blue aviator uniform complete with 1950s spectacles sits. She glances in my direction as I stand, others around me in the waiting room … Continue reading

Titanic

Image

I am the titanic. On the vast ocean blue. 

people stare and think 

Big 

Tall 

Intimidating 

Beautiful 

Odd 

Many think because they see me this way nothing can hurt me. I am invincible in their eyes. 

but it takes a small mistake

a small scratch

a broken piece 

to send me in a downward spiral, to tear me apart. to rip out my insides, to fall apart and become nothing but dust. 

Never judge a book by it’s cover. 

 

I can’t be in a relationship right now

I can’t be in a relationship right now, because I can’t care for you. I can’t give you everything. 

I will push you away. I will want to be alone all the time. I will snap at you. I just can’t put the energy needed for a good relationship right now. 

I can’t do it. 

I need to heal myself. I need to fix myself. I can’t fix you unless I fix myself. I cannot take care of you, If I cannot even take care of myself. 

No matter how much I want you. No matter how much I want to meet you and hold and kiss you. In the current state I would ruin it. 

You only get one shot, I cannot ruin my only shot because I’m a little sad. 

So now I’m gonna go out and drink and give out free love. 

But only a little at a time. 

Only for a night. 

You will get the best I promise. 

I promise it won’t be long. I’ll be better soon. 

I promise.