The Future

the future at 5:
I want to be a singer and live in a mansion and have lots of friends and lots of pets and oh I can’t wait!

the future at 9:
I love science and I want to be a vet and help animals! But I won’t kill them because that’s too mean! I want to have lots of boyfriends and be married at 18 just like a Disney princess. I want to live in a big house and ewh never have kids but I want 3 dogs, 2 cats, and a rabbit! Oh I can’t wait!

The future at 15:
I hate science and math! I want to create movies and be a celebrity in Hollywood. I want to write scripts and direct movies! I want to get married at 25 ooh maybe to that cute guy I met in history class, please! I have the best friends ever and I want to grow old with them. I want to live in a huge house and have lots of kids! Oh I can’t wait!

The future at 16:
Maybe, films are harder than I thought and maybe I’m not really cut out for that. I really love sociology and psychology! Maybe I’ll be a psychologist or something! I don’t need any man to make me happy, boys are stupid! But, I still want 4 kids! And maybe just 2 dogs and cat and a medium sized house. Oh I can’t wait.

The future at 18:
I want to die and move on. The world has nothing left for me. I have no talent and no passion. I have no capacity for love nor trust. I have no money and no friends. I’m a disgrace and a pain on my family. The world would be better If I just moved on. Oh, I can’t wait..

How do things change so quickly.

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Cutting is Not a Cry for Help

It really isn’t.
Well, maybe for some people it is, but I’m not here to talk about those people. I’m here to talk about those of us that do it because well…

It makes us able to see the pin that’s inside of us exterior. It makes us able to visualize the pain and the hurt and put in into an external place. It makes us feel something other than the pain in our hearts and in our brains. It keeps us locked to the ground and feel. It isn’t asking for help or trying to get attention in fact when I do cut it’s seldom in the same place and very rarely on my wrist unless I make it look like an accident.

I’m not promoting cutting in fact I’m trying to look for other ways to output pain. It is a terrible thing and can leave you with scars you will surely look back and regret. I regret mine, and it’s a sad addiction for the ones who are too young to drink or smoke. Please don’t start and please get help if you already have scars and are looking for a way to quit. You’re too good to waste. One and Only. At least I hope that’s not just all bullshit.